Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
i think i have herpe
just one?
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
