i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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