i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
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