All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Randomize
