just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
