I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
