If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Randomize
