drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Randomize
