How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
