I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
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