Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
