Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
