I feel like abortions should bother me more
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
