Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
