You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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