That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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