Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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