I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Randomize
