In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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