It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
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