Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Randomize
