TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
