Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Randomize
