good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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