im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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