you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
