new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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