Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
