hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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