Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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