idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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