remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
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