im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
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