If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
