just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Randomize
