Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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