Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
