Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
