My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
