Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
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