i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
