you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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