I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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