so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
