I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
