We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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