How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
my penis made a compromise with my morals
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
