Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
