So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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