I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
